| “MARRIAGE
AFTER DIVORCE”
By:
David Jerome - Rochester, New York
2 Timothy 4:3-4
says:
“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine,
but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears,
they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their
ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.”
There is a doctrine being preached today about marriage that is contrary
to the Bible. This doctrine is that it is okay for divorced persons
in the church to remarry.
The rate of divorce in the Christian Church is over 50%, which
is higher than that of people with other or no religious beliefs.
To add to that, it is not uncommon to find many religious leaders such
as pastors or bishops, who also are divorced. It is no wonder
then, why teachings of remarriage after divorce, are growing and so
nationwide.
The Bible says in Matthew 5:32 (KJV), “But I say unto you, that
whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication,
causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is
divorced commiteth adultery.” The passage “Except
for the cause of fornication”, is often misinterpreted that divorce
is acceptable if the spouse has had sex with someone other than the
one that they are married to after the marriage has taken place.
But this passage here is in reference to Deuteronomy 22:13-21, which
states what a man may do if he discovers his wife is not a virgin after
they are married. Sex before marriage is fornication. One
cannot fornicate after marriage, because then it is called adultery.
Biblically, one cannot divorce someone because the spouse has cheated
on them and committed adultery. The Bible means only if the man
was deceived about his wife’s virginity, before entering the marriage.
On this ground, and this ground only, can someone get divorced and remarried.
There are many pastors and church leaders who are divorced for reasons
other than stated in Deuteronomy 22:13. As stated before, the
rate of divorce in the Church is over 50% and higher than that of non-Christian
or secular people. Therefore, many preachers preach ways around
this clear teaching of the Bible.
Jesus was asked in Matthew 19:3 (NKJV), “Is it lawful for a man
to divorce his wife for just any reason?” Jesus answered
them in verse 4 saying, “Have you not read that He who made them
in the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said,
‘for this reason shall a man leave his mother and father and be
joined to his wife that the two shall become one flesh’?
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what
God has joined together, let no man separate.” Then the
Pharisees asked Jesus as to why Moses permitted divorce. Jesus
answered in verse 8, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts,
permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not
so.” Jesus goes on in verse 9, “And I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality (before marriage),
and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is
divorced commits adultery.”
Modern preaching has gone so far as to say that there are processes
by which a divorced person can get remarried. “Remedies”,
such as praying to be delivered from the former spouse or asking God
to “bring the right one this time”, and many others have
been offered. This is clearly against the Bible. There is
no way around this teaching. Many preachers, however, including some
who are very famous and can be found on television speaking to crowds
of thousands, preach ways around this clear doctrine of the Bible.
Because so many Christian people are divorced, this new type of doctrine
is very popular. It is sad to say that many Christians do not
respect the institution of marriage enough to not get divorced the first
time.
But What If your spouse divorces you?
The question has been asked, “But what if your spouse divorces
you, even if you want to keep the marriage together?” Or
“Is it fair that if you did everything right as a husband or wife
the first time and your spouse divorces you, that you can never get
married again?” Jesus’ disciples also thought that
this was a tough thing to swallow. They said in Matt 19:10, “If
this is the case with a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.”(NKJV)
What About God’s grace?
Some people take the position that because God is merciful and abounding
in grace and love, that God would “okay” a marriage of divorced
people because he is forgiving and gracious. This is totally false.
Paul addresses this exact issue in Romans 6:1-3; “Shall we continue
in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we
who died to sin live any longer in it?” (NKJV) Anyone who remarries
while the first spouse is alive lives in adultery. This is not
at all in reference to those divorced and remarried before being saved
by Christ, their sins are forgiven. Paul is speaking about those
who know the law and intentionally break it, and then try to justify
themselves with the fact that God is gracious. God is a God of
grace. But this has been twisted in order to suit the desires
of people.
Paul had a thorn in his flesh in 2Corinthians 12. He said that
he prayed three times for God to remove it, but God said, “My
grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.”
God is a God of grace. But his grace is not so that sin may abound.
It is a struggle for divorced people to remain unmarried or to wait
to be reunited with their spouse. God’s grace will not permit
you to break a law because it is convenient, but God’s grace is
sufficient for you to deal with your thorn in your flesh, weather that
thorn is lust, loneliness, or whatever you need to overcome. This is
what is meant by God is a God of grace.
Isn’t This Being Legalistic?
Some preachers may say that obeying this teaching is living by the letter
of the law, and therefore legalistic. There are Ten Commandments.
The Ten Commandments are pillars of Biblical doctrine, and no one can
say that it is just simple legality to follow these commandments.
It is not legalistic to not kill, or worship God only, and it is not
legalistic to not commit adultery. Yet that is what divorced people
who marry another are doing—committing adultery.
This is what dying to flesh is all about. Many people would clap
in church services, or voice their “Amen’s” at the
concept of dying to flesh as long as it is in reference to not watching
R rated movies, or swearing in traffic. The truth is, whoever
will not die to his or her own desires, will not hold up if that person’s
life is put on the line for the Gospel.
The only way for a person to remarry after being divorced is if the
husband or wife dies. Then, as Paul says in Romans 7:2-4, the
divorced person is free from the law of marriage and can marry another.
What Then, Is A Divorced Person To Do?
First and foremost, someone going through a divorce should be praying
for reconciliation and restoration of their marriage. Even if
there has been many years since the marriage broke up, as long as that
person’s spouse has not remarried, a restored marriage should
be the goal in a divorced person’s life not remarriage.
Cases of people who are divorced, especially of those who are young
with their whole lives ahead of them, are indeed heart wrenching.
The pain involved in divorce is probably one of the reasons why the
Bible says, “God hates divorce”(Malachi 2:16). I encourage
all to have compassion on divorced people, and to flood them with prayers
and support.
In the modern church today, there is far too much emphasis on getting
married. Paul said in 1Corinthinthians 7:28, “But those
who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare
you this.” 1Corinthians 7:27: “Are you married?
Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for
a wife.” Paul goes on in verse 29, “What I mean brothers,
is that the time is short. From now on, those who have wives should
live as though they had none.”
With the state of the world as it is, and with the ever nearing arrival
of our Lord and Savior speeding towards us, we should set our minds
on what is most important, and what is lasting. Many are dying,
even as this is being typed, even as you are reading this, and many
are going to hell. Let’s put things in perspective.
When you consider an eternal hell against a temporary marriage, the
latter seems much less important, and the former gravely serious.
I suggest more preaching needs to be taught on 1Cor 7, and to those
who need help, to meditate on 1Cor 7:27-29. And may God bless
and strengthen those who read it.
David Jerome
Sunday School Teacher, RCCM
Rochester, New York |
